Detective Diaries: A SlothBaby FanFic Finale

The Masked Marauder shifted slightly as the single lightbulb lit over his head, illuminating him while leaving the room around him in shadow. They moved to stretch, but found they could barely move, pushing against webbing that adhered him firmly to his chair.

“There’s no use struggling,” a voice from the darkness said calmly. Dramatically, Ms. Marvel, New York’s #1 investigator extraordinaire, stepped into view, her costume shining slightly under the dim light. “And there’s no use denying it any longer. It’s time to come clean once and for all.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” the Masked Marauder muttered, almost speaking to himself.

Ms. Marvel arched her eyebrow before leaning in to get right up in the Masked Marauder’s face, her limbs and neck stretching and twisting, her frame growing large and intimidating. “Let me make it clear just how undone you are, how we’re beyond such childish games. Let me show you that there’s no point in hiding behind masks and schemes any longer.

“It all started when a group of locals approached me regarding your various misdeeds around the neighborhood, offering to hire me on the spot to deal with your sorry behind. But after hearing the lengths you’ve gone to, making so many lives miserable, I declined payment. That’s right, this is a pro bono job, because taking you down will be a reward in and of itself.

“Each of my would-be patrons offered their help to the investigation as well; Aamir allowed me to pool my resources for late in the investigation, setting up just the right tools to pull off some dramatics plays towards the end. Nakia has always been a people person, able to help sweet-talk our way into some dough to fund the operation. And Bruno, bless him, he does his best, setting aside some tricks up his sleeve for a rainy day. Each of them did their best to assist in the operation, but this isn’t really their rodeo. They don’t understand what needs to be done to get down to the nitty gritty.

“The real beauty of my operation comes from my ability to multitask. I’m pretty flexible, as you can tell, meaning that I can get a lot done when I put my mind to it. When presented with enough of your schemes, one way or another, I can knock them down like bowling pins, and you’ll never see my coming once I shrink down to a less conspicuous size.

“By myself, this might have been a little tricky, but thankfully I employ some overwatch tactics to remain fully efficient, thanks to a couple of like-minded gumshoes. You’ve already been acquainted with the webslinger.” Ms. Marvel gestured to the Masked Marauder’s bindings. “If I give him enough of a heads up, he’ll be on top of one of your schemes before you can pivot, giving us the upper hand.

“Meanwhile, Jessica comes into play when things truly go south. She’s at her best under pressure, but if enough schemes present themselves at once, she’s a real pal to have around.

“And I have a few schemes of my own that can help make that worthwhile. With morphogenics like mine, it’s a simple thing to go undercover, taking on whatever guise I need to infiltrate your troops and eliminate one of your strongest tools without you even realizing it. Once I’m behind enemy lines, it’s easy enough to lay a trap for your goons to fall for.

“Being such a skilled investigator, every time I defeated one of your schemes or pulled off one of my one, I gathered more resources and intel, further fueling my ability to catch you red handed. That coupled with my innate sense of justice and the support my suit offers… well, honestly it surprises me it took me this long to take you down.

“Once I had all my tools in place, it was time to embiggen and lay down the hurt, as you’re very aware of I’m sure. Sorry if I gave you a concussion back there, but I needed to be sure you wouldn’t be able to follow me back to my base and get up to any mischief. You had me backed into a corner for a minute there, but I was able to turn the tide at the last minute by taking out some of your flunkies, showing off my multitalented skills to remain ready for anything.”

Ms. Marvel posed for a moment, brushing herself off. “Yes, I know, I’m amazing, no need for applause. Well, I guess you can’t applaud because you’re tied up, but, you know…”

There was an awkward pause before the Masked Marauder said, “Wow, that was a rather elaborate explanation.”

“Oh, no need to be like that, Masked Marauder… or should I say -”

Ms. Marvel pulled the mask from the Masked Marauder’s head one smooth motion.

“- Old Man Jenkins!?!”

“And I would have gotten away with it too, and if it weren’t for you and those pesky kids. And that teleporting dog too!”

That’s another mystery wrapped up for Ms. Marvel, detective extraordinaire, but be sure to tune back in next week for a fresh adventure for our intrepid heroes!