ABS - Always Be Smashing

Card draw simulator

Odds: 0% – 0% – 0% more
Derived from
None. Self-made deck here.
Inspiration for
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BigAsLifeTwiceAsUgly · 54

HULK HAS HAD ENOUGH!

HULK SPEND MUCH TIME ON MARVEL CDB. SEES MANY HULK DECKS. PUNY PUNY HULK DECKS! THEY MAKE HULK SO ANGRY!

WHY THESE DECKS HAVE SO MANY PUNY ALLIES? HULK DOES NOT NEED ALLIES! HULK IS STRONGEST ONE THERE IS!

WHY THESE DECKS TRY TO EQUIP HULK WITH PUNY GUNS AND YARN BORNS? HULK IS WEAPON!

WEAK DECKS MAKE HULK SO MAD! LUCKY FOR HULK, MADDER HULK GETS, STRONGER HULK'S DECKBUILDING SKILLS GET. SO HULK HAS MADE THIS DECK HULK'S SELF.

HULK'S DECK DOES WHAT HULK DOES BEST: SMASH VILLAINS. HULK SHOULD HIT VILLAIN IN FACE AT LEAST ONE TIME EACH TURN. BETTER TO HIT FACE MANY TIMES, JUST IN CASE.

MANY PEOPLE MAKE DECKS, TRY TO DEAL MAXIMUM DAMAGE. HULK DOES NOT CARE ABOUT MAXIMUM DAMAGE, BECAUSE HULK UNDERSTAND INCREMENTAL VALUE. THIS DECK CAN SMASH BIGLY, BUT MORE IMPORTANT, IT SMASH EVERY TURN. EASY TO TAKE CARE OF MINIONS, AND STILL AVERAGE 10 DAMAGE PER TURN TO VILLAIN WITH THIS DECK. BEST PART: DOES NOT TAKE LONG, BORING SET-UP TIME!

MOST IMPORTANT: HULK CAN FINISH VILLAINS WITHOUT TURNING INTO PUNY BANNER. NEVER DEFEND. ALWAYS BE SMASHING.

NOW HULK TELL YOU ABOUT HULK'S BEST CARDS.

HULK SMASH: THIS IS MOST IMPORTANT CARD IN DECK. HULK LOVE THIS CARD. HULK ALWAYS PLAY THIS CARD WHEN HULK DRAWS IT. HULK LOVE THIS CARD SO MUCH, HE WOULD RATHER BE BANNER FOR A TURN THAN DISCARD IT.

COMBAT TRAINING: SOME PEOPLE TELL HULK HE HITS LIKE TRAIN. SO WHEN HULK HIT ENEMY WITH THIS UPGRADE, HULK MUST BE TRAINING. THIS MAKE ALL SMASHING SMASHIER. HULK MULLIGAN FOR THIS CARD.

ENHANCED PHYSIQUE: THIS ANOTHER CARD HULK LIKE TO SEE IN HULK'S OPENING HAND, BUT NOT AS IMPORTANT AS COMBAT TRAINING. IT MAKE SMASHING MORE EFFICIENT.

BOUNDLESS RAGE: SOME PEOPLE NOT THINK THIS CARD IMPORTANT. THIS CARD AMAZING!!! MUCH DAMAGE FOR LITTLE COST. HULK DOES NOT MULLIGAN FOR IT, BUT HULK ALWAYS HAPPY TO SEE IT.

IMMOVABLE OBJECT: THIS CARD VERY GOOD. HELPS HULK TO AVOID TURNING INTO PUNY BANNER, AND LETS HULK KEEP SMASHING IN VILLAIN PHASE. BUT REMEMBER, MORE IMPORTANT TO HIT VILLAIN THAN SET UP, SO ONLY PLAY IF YOU HAVE NO SMASHY CARDS, OR YOU ARE SMASHING VERY GOOD ALREADY.

CLOBBER: HULK BORROW THIS CARD FROM HULK'S FRIEND, THING. IT NOT BIG DAMAGE, BUT IT HELP WITH EFFICIENT SMASHING.

AND THAT IT! HULK NEED NO MORE CARDS! MORE CARDS IS STUPID! URK! YOu StOP ReaDiNG HulK's aRtiCLE NOOoooowww...RRRG! NoOoO! sTAY aWAy! PuNY! BAnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeerrrrrrrr....

...

Oof. My apologies for that. Dr. Bruce Banner here. Pardon my, erm, tattered haberdashery.

Hulk has a sense of the overall strategy behind this deck he's created. However, I'm not sure he understands some of the nuances of his creation, and he certainly doesn't respect them. That's where I come in. So if you'll indulge me, I thought I might elucidate some of the thought process behind the...um, "tech" cards, I believe is the term.

Adrenaline Rush: a card Hulk might appreciate, even though it requires a little more finesse in deployment than he's accustomed to. It serves two purposes. First, it serves as a buffer against Treacheries or other effects that might remove Hulk's more crucial upgrades. Second, it is a cheap source of additional damage. Ideally, it should be saved for a turn in which Hulk can produce three or four instances of damage, for optimal efficiency. However, it's acceptable to activate it under less ideal circumstances, provided that the additional one or two damage would allow Hulk to reach an important threshold, such as an enemy's current HP value.

Moment of Triumph: Hulk balks at the inclusion of any card that doesn't generate a physical resource, for understandable reasons. Yet there are times when he will be quite grateful for this card, as it will allow him to persist in smashing without the need to revert to "puny Banner" for the sake of recovery. Indeed, should he be so fortunate, or so deft, as to play it in tandem with Hulk Smash, he can regain a tremendous amount of vitality.

Into the Fray: I am trepidant to make too vociferous an argument for this card's inclusion. It does have many flaws. It is expensive. It produces an energy resource. It can only target minions. Yet it fills an important gap in Hulk's arsenal in its ability to reduce threat, sometimes substantially, and it does so without inhibiting Hulk's ability to batter the Villain. All and still, I am conducting laboratory tests with the new Smash the Problem from the Valkyrie set, which is a promising alternative, particularly in scenarios with few minions.

Finally, a word on the inclusion of Counterattack as opposed to, say, Toe to Toe. Hulk wants to do damage, and do it quickly, but the cost of taking the full brunt of an additional undefended attack is too great, even for a card as efficient as Toe to Toe. The big guy will not defend, even if I ask him to. On average, Counterattack might be a little less powerful than Toe to Toe, but it is indubitably less expensive.

Alright! Enough talk. Get out there and -- ahem -- SMASH!

3 comments

Feb 08, 2022 Wisdom · 1

Best. Deck. Description. EVER.

Feb 12, 2022 SerHalcyon · 14

Art.

Feb 12, 2024 Castlefrank47 · 828

This write up legimately made me laugh out loud. Now I have to give it a go